Questions and Answers

Affection between husband and wife

Question: I have been married islamically for 4 years now, every year I make it my duty to give my husband a token of appreciation. But he always has an excuse when it comes to my gift. Am I wrong for anticipating some sort of gift for our anniversary in return? I don't receive anything during the year.

I also have another question, we are ten (10) years apart in age. I have told my husband that sometimes he needs to make me feel special, I told him that simple things like sending a text message while we are both at work would make me feel appreciated because I may be stressed at work and when i receive a text saying "thinking of you" or "i love you", it could turn the stress around. He is saying that I like too much attention. I do have proof that he has been sending text messages to other women asking "how they're day at the beach was", etc. and he has a msn account, he has female friends on his list. He sometimes refers to them as "baby" or "princess".

What does the Quran say about this and also about showing affection in public, like holding hands or giving a quick kiss??

Answer: There is no harm in anticipating a gift from him. In fact, it is encouraged that he should give you something in return. As for him behaving in this manner with other females who are not connected to him through marriage, it is not permissible in Islam. In fact, it is totally haram and unlawful and is punishable in Islam. Holding hands and kissing etc. in public are all prohibited in Islam. Even though it is with one's spouse, Islam teaches a high level of modesty and also good manners in public. These are actions which one must do in privacy with the spouse and not in the public. Besides this, when one is legally married to another and both spend days and nights together in privacy, what is the need for behavingin this manner in front of others. As it is normally seen, this behaviour is usually that of those people who continue to maintain illicit relationship with others.

And Allah knows best.
Mufti Waseem Khan